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Aqua Velva

Sgt Grit,

Here is a funny and VERY true story. I graduated from Parris Island in late October of 1981 in platoon 2063. Anyway…we were practicing for what I believe was the Battalion Commander’s inspection and the DI’s had us “on line” in the squad bay. They paced back and forth checking and rechecking that we had shaved closely, had brushed our teeth and gargled with mouthwash and knew our “knowledge.” I recall our younger DI going from recruit to recruit and splashing a small amount of Aqua Velva into his hand and then plastering it across each cheek of each recruit. (I still bust out laughing when I think of that). Then he moved down the ranks again and after pouring a cup-full of mouthwash into each person’s mouth, instructed them to gargle, and then swallow because, “he did not want any maggot to offend the Battalion Commander with our sh!t-smellin breath.” Apparently he ran out of mouthwash about a dozen or so recruits after me and did what I will never forget. He yelled for one of the “house-mouses” to get him the Aqua Velva and he made the rest of the platoon gargle with it! From that point on my memory is a bit clouded, but I don’t believe he had them swallow it! I do remember him explaining that the after-shave was no different from the mouth wash. It must not have hurt anyone internally…they all made it to graduation! I’ll say this much….I was scared sh!tless back then, but when I look back now, there isn’t too much that happened in boot camp that doesn’t bring a smile to my face every time I think about it!

OHH-RAH!

Mike Kunkel
Cpl 0331, 81-85

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Comments

John Stone - April 20, 2020

I’ve told this tale before. In 1965 to remove peach fuzz, The Drill Instructor would splash shaving lotion on our faces and LIGHT it, Hol you breath and close your eyes. WHOOSH. Shaved.

Larry Mullins Plt 3044 1980 - April 20, 2020

We didn’t have Aqua Velva for final inspection that I remember, but we did pass bottles of Scope mouthwash down the line and had to swallow it. They also put women’s Neat hair remover under our jaw to make sure we had a close shave. That stuff burned. To this day, I still can’t handle Scope mouthwash.

Tony Mastriani - April 20, 2020

After the first week or so, the hardest thing about bootcamp for me was not laughing at the guys who didn’t get it.

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