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Heady Humor

Heady Humor

I attended the University of Parris Island in October of 1963. Unlike several, I beat the draft by enlisting!! Boot Camp restrictions are something ONLY a Marine would understand. Among them was a restriction of movement in the barracks after lights out. Unfortunately, natures movement are about the ONLY thing that ignored Drill Instructors! In the middle of ONE night, nature took command and I sneaked into the head around two A.M. It was pitch black and I had to feel my way to the closest relief station. I was in the middle of my mission when I heard the station a couple down from me release it’s cargo. I was frozen and no further relief was possible. As I listened, the other visitor completed his mission and I heard him walk across the floor. THEN, the lights came on! There was one of my Drill Instructors! Let’s just say it didn’t take me long to finish my business! The rest is a blur of memory! Bill Kidd, SSgt, USMC, 1st Battalion, Platoon 185
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ArtyMgySgt - May 1, 2020

I was in Plt. 238 at PISC in 1961 and one early morning I had to made an emergency head call and as I left the head I saw the lights were on in the squad bay and I had to pass the duty D.I. on my return to my rack. Nothing was ever said to me regarding my unauthorized head call.

Jim Albert - May 1, 2020

Hey Cpl. James Kanavy we were in the same platoon in PI 321/1966 Jan- Mar…glad to see you made it….Semper Fi

Harry - May 1, 2020

Say when and, we ‘ll set a time. Where in Indiana are you headed? I would go to Kokomo every Sept for the BIG Vietnam Vets reunion. Quit going 2009. Harry

Sgt. Hodge - May 1, 2020

Plt. 394, 1965 , Sgt. Thornton, Sgt. Payne, Sgt. Hilton. I do remember the “Ewe Juice” don’t remember ever having the smoking lamp lit. I was one of the few that didn’t smoke, picked that habit up in 1966,put it down in 1999. Sgt. Payne had a strong dislike for reservist, we had one, Payne spent a lot of time chasing him around the squad bay with his NCO sword trying to get him to ship over. The Drill instructors were fond of tag teaming on some poor recruit. One morning during arms inspection Sgt. Thornton stepped in front of me, as I came to port arms I bumped him with my rifle. Suddenly I was on the ground looking up at Sgt. Thornton. I cherish every moment I spent in the Corps, and give thanks to my three SGTs. for preparing me to become a MARINE. VNam 1967/1968

George Goodwin - May 1, 2020

I attended Parris Island in January 1987. Funny, I can’t remember if we had walls between the toilets or not. I think we did but no doors. I lucked out and was one of the platoon scribes so I made the fire watch. I always put myself as the second to last watch so I could use the shitter and be dressed when the DI got up.

Sgt Robert L Sisson - May 1, 2020

The thing that pissed me off was trying to shave with only a few sinks and 60-80 guys THANK GOD we had a lot of guys that didn’t shave yet.

Sgt Robert L Sisson - May 1, 2020

The thing that pissed me off was trying to shave with only a few sinks and 60-80 guys THANK GOD we had a lot of guys that didn’t shave yet.

paul - May 1, 2020

My second story to Sgt Grit!!!!! PI Plt 414 1954, 2nd BN, we had walls between the toilets, and a kid wrote a short poem on the wall that the DI;s found!!!Poem was He who writes on SH.. House walls, rolls the SH.. into little balls, He who reads these lines of witt, Eats these litle balls of SH.. end. Pretty funny stuff. but the poor kid got caught and had to run around the perimiter of the old wooden barracks of 2nd BN, in our skivvies and white T shirts we all stood at attention front of racks and he just kept running. The DI stayed in middle of the squadbay and wud stop him at times and stomp on his bare toes and they were bleeding so he left a trail of blood for us to clean next day…At same time while running the poor kid had to recite his poem, plus he had to say I am the kind of guy who writes on SH.. House walls!!! Kid was from Moscow Penna and I still can remember his name!!! I have told this story in some marine facebook sites!!!

Bob - May 1, 2020

In 1966, Platoon 215, we also had to gave permission from the firewatch. There was no privacy in Nam either. When working the LCU ramp at Hue in 1967, we had a “4-holer” set up across the roadway from the university. We could just sit there and watch the people walk up and down the sidewalk and riding up and down the street. No one seemed to pay any attention to us. I guess they were used to seeing each other line up on the rice paddy dikes to fertilize their rice crops. Across the Perfume River from the LCU ramp were houses that came right down to the water’s edge. Occasionally you could see a person with his butt hanging across the porch rail doing his “business” and a woman a house or two down the river dipping water out of the river with a bucket. I don’t know what she used it for but I hope it wasn’t for cooking or drinking.

Jim Barber - May 1, 2020

If you guys are willing to share your funny boot camp stories for possible publication forward them to me at I have had good response from SGT GRIT readers so far. Thanks to all. Jim Barber, author “SH*TBIRD! How I Learned To Love The Corps”

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