Will Rogers’ Wisdom

Will Rogers, who died in a  1935 plane crash, was one of the greatest  political sages this country has ever  known.

Enjoy the following:

1. Never slap a man who’s chewing  tobacco.

2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot  day.

3. There are two theories to arguing  with a woman.  Neither works. 

4. Never miss a good chance to shut  up.

5. Always drink upstream from the  herd.

6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

7. The quickest way to double your money  is to fold it and put it back into your  pocket.

8. There are three kinds of  men: -The ones that learn by  reading. -The few who learn by  observation. -The rest of them have to pee on the  electric fence and find out for  themselves.

9. Good judgment comes from experience,  and a lot of that comes from bad  judgment.

10. If you’re riding’ ahead of the herd,  take a look back every now and  then To make sure it’s still  there.

11. Lettin’  the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier’n  puttin’ it back.

12. After  eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so  good he started roaring. He  kept it up until a hunter came along and shot  him. The  moral: When  you’re full of bull, keep your mouth  shut.

ABOUT  GROWING OLDER…

First  ~Eventually  you will reach a point when you stop  lying About  your age and start bragging about  it.

Second  ~ The older  we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in  line for.

Third  ~ Some  people try to turn back their  odometers. Not  me; I want people to know ‘why’ I look this  way. I’ve  traveled a long way, and some of the roads  weren’t paved.

Fourth  ~ When you  are dissatisfied and would like to go back to  youth,Think  of Algebra.

Fifth  ~ You know  you are getting old when everything either dries  up or leaks.

Sixth  ~ I don’t  know how I got over the hill without getting to  the top.

Seventh  ~ One of the  many things no one tells you about  aging Is  that it’s such a nice change from being  young.

Eighth  ~ One must  wait until evening to see how splendid the day  has been.

Ninth  ~ Being  young is beautiful, but being old is  comfortable.

Tenth  ~ Long ago,  when men cursed and beat the ground with  sticks, it was  called witchcraft. Today  it’s called golf.

And, finally  ~ If you  don’t learn to laugh at  trouble, You  won’t have anything to laugh at when you’re  old.