Hello, God?

The following is a poem written by our niece after her cousin, Branden, was killed in Iraq November 6, 2004;

Hello, God?
by Jocelyn Michelle Hegesi

Hello, God? I know you can hear me and I’m sorry it’s been so long. But God I just have some questions because I don’t know how much longer I can be strong. But God, if you’d just answer my questions, I’m sure things would be alright, because God I have to tell you, it’s nearly impossible to sleep through the night. It seems like only yesterday I was talking to you keeping him safe and God I still remember that feeling of reassurance and how it felt like a deep embrace. But God, things are so different now and I’m not sure if I can move on, But God if You’ll hold my hand tonight I’m sure You’ll help me along. So God, here are my questions and I have to trust that You’ll give me peace. So here I go God, please stop me if they get too deep.

Why did he love his country so that he was willing to give his life?
(Because my dear, that’s the heart I put in him, he detested a heart of strife.)

Why was it him that fateful day and not some other man?
(Because my dear, I know he can guard My gates better than anyone else can.)

Why did he choose to go when so many others run away?
(Because my dear, he was an honorable man one whose strength was shown each day.)

Why did You allow him to leave and not send him back to us?
(Because my dear, his spirit was ready, but I know right now it doesn’t seem just.)

What am I to tell my family as we sit here and cry?
(Tell them the truth my dear, your cousin’s spirit will never die. Now before we go any further, let me put an end to all your questions “why?” You see my darling I’m holding him right now, and trust Me when I tell you your answers will be revealed to you somehow. Tell your family that you’ve talked to Me and that your cousin is alright, tell them not to worry because he’ll never face another lonely night. And although I know this will not allow your pain to cease, please know that he’s not hurting, he’s not fearful, he has eternal peace. Tell them My spirit will soothe them if they allow Me in, tell not to be angry because Branden’s love can be found within. And if they still have questions directly to Me they need to run, tell them my compassion is great, because I too lost My Son.)

Jocelyn Michelle Hegesi
November 17, 2004

Submitted with permission by Donna and Tim Hyser (Cpl. USMC 19741977) Semper Fi