The Trained Killer

I was stationed at Subic Bay, Philippines, 1967-1971, and provided Technical Services to the fleet on weapons and weapon systems. I was assigned to ComFairWestPac, Cubi Point.

There were several Clubs at Subic Bay. Two of the Clubs were the Cubi Point Officers Club, and the Skyclub at the Marines MAU Camp on the hill. The Cubi Point Officers club was a formal, quiet, and sedate club where Naval Aviators gathered to frolic.

The Skyclub was quiet different, dress was informal, (but, you had to wear something), and fun things were permitted as long as nothing was brought along that made a loud noise and expelled projectiles.

Most of the patrons attended the club to have a cold (usually alcoholic) beverage, and discuss the flora and fauna of the Philippines.

Discussions usually covered the female of the species fauna, which were in abundance in any of the “upscale” night clubs in Olongapo. Where, for a relatively modest fee, one could considerably widen one’s knowledge of said subject.

One night, a Marine MEU, A Marine Recon Unit, and a couple of seal teams, were visiting, plus, the Aircraft Carrier USS Constellation was in port.

In spite of this influx of various warrior groups, things were running along smoothly, until a Skyclub patron turned to another, and mentioned the fact that he was nothing but a trained Killer. The person spoken to promptly informed the trained Killer that he was nothing but a trained Killer Killer.

The trained Killer, taking umbrage at this affront, strongly suggested that the trained Killer Killer go some place and conduct an act on himself most people would deem impossible.

(Since the Vice President of the United States recently told a certain Senator to do the same thing, it must be possible) As their philosophical discussion continued, other trained Killers and trained Killer Killers, desiring that all points be heard, joined in.

Some of the trained Killers and trained Killer Killers mistook the Waltz the trained Killer and the trained Killer Killer were doing, for a Tango, and decided to participate. This additional activity promptly turned into a Rumba or Rumble, I forget which.

At the conclusion of the night’s entertainment, most trained Killers and trained Killer Killers returned to their commands somewhat intact. The same could not be said for the Skyclub, as it was now a pile of rubble.

When the Cubi Point Commanding Officer saw the rubble the next day, he was asked what he was going to do about it. He, being a guy who had “come up through the ranks”, and knowing most of the people involved had been, and were going back, into harms way, simply said: “rebuild it”.

Hey Marines, some of you were there that night, and I would like to hear your version of this story.

Jim Reed S/SGT MGCIS-1 1948-52
VMF (AW) 214 Black Sheep, 1954-55.
NCTS Point Mugu 1966-90 (Aviation Ordnance Association plank owner)

Sgt Grit wants to hear from you! Leave your comments below or submit your own story!

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